Parenting Fail

Tonight, after a really good day of birthday party fun, I made a really huge parenting fail. So, so frustrated with parenting right now.

J & T were arguing, as is the norm with them, and J screamed then started to cry. That led me to believe T had done something really mean to him so I jumped on T. He started yelling that he didn't do anything to J and that I always believe J and never believe him. Which is probably true.

Well, I was wrong. J had been over-reacting out of anger and frustration. T hadn't done anything to him. Bad parenting right there.

So, I told them both that from now on, if they had an argument they have to work it out themselves. I don't know who to believe and both of them are going to think I am taking the others side no matter what I do. If either of them tattle or get out of control or whatever and I have to get involved, they are BOTH going to be punished. No matter who did what...no questions asked...no arguments listened to...just equal punishments for both of them.

Is parenting really supposed to be this difficult?

Seriously, is it?

Documentary The Cove...

To learn more or support this cause click here or here

In my email today...

I found this little gem.

The Mayonnaise  Jar



When  things in your life seem almost too much to handle,

When 24  hours in a day is not enough;

remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.



A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of
him.



When the class began, wordlessly,he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise
jar and start to fill it with golf balls.



He then asked the students if the jar was full.

They agreed that it was.



The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and  poured

it into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.

The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked
the students again if the jar was full.

They agreed it was.



The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He asked once more if the jar was full.

The students responded With an
unanimous  'yes.'



The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the
 table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively

filling the empty space between the sand.

The students laughed.



'Now,' said the  professor, as the laughter subsided,

'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.



The golf balls are the important things - God,  family,

children, health, friends, and favorite passions  

Things  that if everything else was lost

and  only they remained, your life would still be full.



The pebbles are the things that matter like your job,house,and car.



The sand is everything else -- The
small stuff.

'If you put the sand into the jar
first,' he continued,'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.

The same goes for life.



If you spend all your time and energy  on the small stuff, You will never
have room for the things that are important to you.



So...



Pay attention to the things that are
critical to your happiness.

Play with your children. Take time to get
medical checkups.

Take your partner out to dinner.



There will always be time to clean the house and fix the dripping tap.



'Take care of the golf balls first -- The
things that really  matter.

Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'



One of the students raised her hand and
inquired what the coffee represented.



The  professor smiled.

'I'm glad you asked'.



It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,

there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'

Ahh, craftiness

I have been crafting!

Crafting makes me SO happy!

A few years ago, when I was really into making jewelery, I made necklaces for my kid's teachers. Last week one of my son's past teachers emailed me to see if I was still making them. She wanted to BUY some to give to her kid's teachers!

I have never SOLD anything that I made. I have given a lot for gifts, but, when you do that, you really cannot gauge if it is "good" because {not many} people will tell you to your face that something you made is not good, right?

Well, apparently I was a hit with at least 1 person and frankly, that is awesome in my book!

So, this weekend I was busily crafting away and here is my end result

 

I used Fragments by Tim Holtz to make the pendants. They are so lightweight that I think they work awesome as jewelery.

I have been playing around with Glimmer Mists in the Dimensional Details class so I thought it would be fun to use them on my tag. I cut a doily in half, placed in on top of my tag and misted. I love the subtle detail it gives to the basic kraft tag.

I also added a bit of Happy Tape as an accent because, well, it made me happy!

Put a little more Happy Tape on the back too, so that it was happy all around.

I made 9 different styles. None are exactly the same.

Here is a look at the whole lot

I am so thrilled that I was asked to make these AND that someone is willing to pay money for them!

Let me know what you think of them...maybe I should make more!

God Bless the Internet!

Oh my word! I cannot believe how the internet saved my butt tonight!

If you follow my tweets you probably read that we bought a new dining room set last week. It was delivered last Tuesday.

Tonight we had a delish dinner of meatloaf, mashed potatoes, & artichokes. Yum. But, I digress. Dinner was server on paper plates because my dishwasher was full and had not been run this morning (boo!).

Guess what?

Paper plates + hot food = big huge ugly white heat stains on wood!

How did I not know this?

Lucky for us though, whenever we don't know how to do something or what to do about something we Google it! And tonight, Google had the answer!

If you ever find yourself in such a situation...here is what to do. 

And, believe me, it really works :)

Mother's Day 2010

I didn't take any photos today - boo! I should have taken at least 1 shot and me and me sweet kiddos but it was a busy day.

J. brought me breakfast in bed, coffee & cocoa puffs...it really just doesn't get any better than that!

The kids (& mostly hubby) got me a beautiful Coach bag! Hubby said T's reaction over the bag was "You're gonna get her a purse?" like it was the craziest idea ever. This kid has lived with me for 11 1/2 years now, you would think he had realized my obsession with Coach by now!

We had lunch at my niece's house along with my sister and 2 other nieces and my parents. It was a great time and always so fun to see my adorable great nieces & nephew!

I got in a nice nap this afternoon while hubby installed our new dining room chandelier :) Dinner was out for Chinese, my favorite!

A great day!!

Parenting is SO not easy...

*Sigh*

It's sad to start a blog post with a *sigh* but that is how I feel lately. My husband and I are just not seeing eye to eye on son #3 and it is wearing on me. 

I am #3's step-mom and while I do not like to really use the term "step" I think it is appropriate in this instance. His mom is, for all intents and purposes, pretty much out of the picture so I do the mothering for him. However, he does still biologically and legally have both a mother and a father therefore I do not feel that it is my place to do any serious disciplining or punishing. I feel that I am limited to correcting inappropriate behaviors and taking away small privileges, etc. but that is about the extent. I may be wrong in my beliefs but, it is what it is.

#3 is (IMHO) very hyperactive, to the point that I feel he would benefit from medication. He also has very poor impulse control and somewhat lacking social skills (for a 2nd grader). I am also questioning whether he might have some sort of language processing difficulties, as he often stares blankly when spoken to and has extreme difficulty with reading. He does ok in school academically but not behaviorally. His teacher often sends home notes that "he was asked repeatedly to stop xxxxx and did not" or "he was unable to stay focused on and finish his work today". However, because his grades are ok the school will not intervene.

I have repeatedly tried to convince my husband that we need professional help for #3. I won't say that he doesn't agree but I will say that he is reluctant. His reluctance along with the fact that our medical insurance will not cover any testing or treatment though, pretty much makes him against it. I know we could do all this privately & I have with my 2 (biological) children but I did / do it with financial help from my parents. It is unbelievably expensive & we simply don't have an extra $25K while raising 4 kids. He has agreed to doing family counseling to work on "blending" our family and to individual counseling for #3. However, he does not believe that counseling will accomplish anything.

#3 is an interesting child and I have ZERO experience with this type of personality...punishments & consequences DO NOT BOTHER this child! You can take away his DS, Computer, TV for a week and he just shrugs it off. Send him to his room and he just sits on his bed playing with his pillow. Take away dessert and he says OK and goes off to take a shower. Send him to bed early and he lays down and goes to sleep. We cannot find a punishment / consequence that really gets through to this child...with one exception, spanking.

I do not like spanking. I do not feel like it teaches a child anything constructive in terms of how to change or correct a negative behavior. Have I spanked...yes, a few times. However, for me I realize that the few times I have spanked my (biological) children it was more out of frustration than to teach a lesson. So, I do not do it anymore and I won't do it to my step children. My husband is more "old school" though and believes that a spanking is an appropriate punishment for some behaviors. We have agreed to disagree on this parenting issue and I am ok with that. Where I have the problem though is that since I don't & won't spank #3 and other consequences I can & will enforce have ZERO effect on #3, I am left with absolutely no way to handle this child when his father is not around. It wouldn't be such an issue except that I am home in the afternoon with the children until he gets home from work and there are lots of issues that come up that need some type of consequence.

I don't know what to do anymore. It is exhausting for me and I do not enjoy being around this child. That makes me irritable towards him and everyone else, the other 3 kids & my husband when he gets home. I know not to take this out on them but that is also hard. I am tired. I have been correcting, re-directing, and disciplining for 3-4 hours straight with this kid in addition to homework and regular mom stuff with the other 3 kids. Once he gets home from work I have to make dinner, clean up after dinner, do laundry, get the kids moving on bath and bed, etc. Of course, my husband does help with this stuff...he is very good about sharing home responsibilities so I am not complaining about that at all. But it is still work on top of work on top of {job} work, etc. It is causing arguments between my husband and I. I worry that it is putting a strain on our marriage and that scares me. I feel bad because #3 is not getting a fair chance to shine due to things out of his control but I don't know how to fix that on my own. I know we need professional help on this one but I don't know how we can afford to do it.

I feel a bit like a failure as a parent.